Thursday, December 30, 2004


The story I want to tell you now is the oldest story in the
book. It's the defining story of humanity, and it goes like this:
A new tool comes along. Men see it in the world or in their
minds. They strive to reach it, attain it, hold it aloft for a
moment's wonder. Then they wield it wisely or wantonly, and
in so doing they transform a society—a tribe, village, city,
corporation, nation-state, or global institution, spreading the
effects on up the evolutionary ladder of civilization

--Pat Forde In Spirit

Interesting view.


Elvis Water

Why would anyone think that someone would pay tons of cash for water that Elvis potentially backwashed in.


Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Brain Changes

How is this news?

Is anybody surprised that emotional trauma has affects on the brain?


Teacher Update

Wow it seems as though my teacher post bugged some people.

Claire: I never said other people weren't underpaid as well. I believe I actually wrote a whole post about how most jobs do underpay. Also look at the starting wage for a teacher with a bachelors degree and you will find it comparable to your position. I'm not saying it's right to underpay anybody I was just posting out of shock that someone agreed that teachers are underpaid.

Vickie: You must have come over from Dog Snot. I am not currently a teacher. I USED to be a teacher. No I did not quit because of the pay. You must live somewhere other than OR/WA because in WA 30 yrs of teaching will not bring in 70K. Fine. Don't forget that you work more than 40 hours a week when you do your analysis and extensions. I am glad that you don't feel underpaid but I know many teachers (especially new teachers) feel underpaid. I think this is justifiable since most of them have advanced degrees and can get better paying jobs. Most stay though because they love teaching. There is a pay off and I understand that.

Dog Snot has nothing to do with it. I only mentioned there that I was a teacher though. That has not been mentioned on this blog. Yes I realized you taught in CT. I also realize that your salary would be in line with your col. I have also discovered that in CT you don't have to pay for all of your continuing ed like teachers in WA do. WA has a pool for continuing ed which probably is not comparable to covering 18 cue. WA also requires 150 every 5 years vs. 90. I firmly believe that teachers should be compensated comparably to other professional careers. I don't think that can be disputed. Don't forget that most teachers do work in the summer. Either doing lesson plans or attending classes that they pay for.

For the record:
I did not get caught lying on Dog Snot. If anyone assumed I was currently a teacher they assumed to much from my statement. I never claimed to be currently teaching. My profile even says that I am in transportation. I used to be a teacher and do currently hold certification for anyone that wants to try and dispute that. Don't blame me or call me a liar for your own ignorant assumptions.

As a teacher you should understand that implying something and saying it are two separate things. What anyone assumed from my implication is their issue not mine.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Nerd Xmas Update

Adam had a great nerd xmas and you all should be able to hear the difference in the podcast over the next few weeks. I don't think that there is any nerd gear that I want that I don't have in my possession right now or is in transit or on order to be in transit. We will be using new sweet studio mics sometime in the next week. I already got one mic and the mixer I wanted. I have been scouring the web for some post processing techniques to improve our sound even more. All using free software no less.
Now for the final touch. Marilyn gave me the go ahead to purchase the laptop that I wanted. It is on order and will be built sometime in the next 2 weeks. I don't know when I will have it in my hot, sweaty, sticky, little hands but you can be assured that I will be making a big deal about it on the podcast. Let me know if you hear a difference in the show once I get all this shit working.
If anyone wants me to stop posting all my stupid geek crap just comment now.


Stop commenting on how I should have bought a powerbook!!! I am the most anal geek there is. I considered that option at length and it just didn't wouldn't have worked in the reality of my digital world place. You rich bastards with your fancy expensive computers can lick my balls!!! Suck it!!!!!

Are Teachers Overpaid?

When I turned on MSN today and saw this headline I braced myself to be pissed. I hate these ignorant fucks who complain about teachers being underpaid because they don't want to pay taxes. Really that's what it comes down too. Nobody complains about teachers being overpaid unless they don't want to pay taxes or are pissed off because they get summers off. But I'm getting off point. I thought this would piss me off. But the guy actually agrees that teachers probably are underpaid. He shows this chart.

Average annual salary
state patrol officer
assistant professor
computer systems analyst
full professor
family practice physician

Hmm.. Teachers the least. Of course yes I realize that you could find other jobs that are paid lower than teachers. But notice that teachers have as much education as these other professions. Plus in order to be near this average a teacher would need a masters degree which hasn't really been accounted for. Then don't forget the continuing education that although happens everywhere teachers have to pay for. A nurse or engineer with a BA starting thier first job can make much more than a teacher with a masters degree and five years of experience. That seems like a strange discrepency along with the ones mentioned above. So yes. Teachers are underpaid. But yes their salaries are paid by tax dollars. But so are police officers, superintedndents, tax auditors, and many other proffessions that pay much more than teaching.


Monday, December 27, 2004

Angry Alien

This is great. It's cartoon bunnies reenacting movies. Check it out.


Dog Snot

So read the post here titled Liberals Continue Assault On Christmas. Ok... So what. The kid got thrown out. I agree it's asinine. He was wearing a Santa Suit... Wow. That should be a huge problem kick him out... I see the authors point it was dumb. But it's just as asinine to blame it on liberals. Obviously this person has never worked in the school system and does not understand the politics. What happens when somebody did get offended and then the principal has to deal with the parents that complain because they are supporting Christmas and not other holidays for other religions. This isn't a stupid PC issue brought on by liberals it's a political issue because schools have students from diverse backgrounds and have to cater to everyone not just the majority. Besides separation of church and state is an old idea not a new liberal value.


Harry Potter

Well... it's official another Harry Potter book. Just in time for the Series of Unfortunate Events movie. Oh, and stock prices for publishers and booksellers are allready on the rise. I don't have any personal issue with Harry or the Unfortunate Events series but here is my problem. Part of the reason everyone was so excited about these books was because they were getting children to read again in an age of video games and other shit where many of our students read below their grade level. Now instead of keeping kids reading they are making movies out of them. Most kids are just going to go see the movie. Oh I know it's all about the money though. Fuck the kids who cares of they read we can make money on a movie and all the action figures and the movie picture book and... and... and...

Fuck that let the kids read.


Mini Skirts Are Not For Men

I have nothing else to say.


George Carlin

George Carlin is by far one of the funniest comedians to ever do standup. Even better instead of being great and then fizzling out he has been awesome for many years. Am I surprised that he's going into rehab? No. I mean come on. He always admitted to drinking quite a bit and smoking quite a bit of pot. Plus you gotta do something to maintain that kind of anger. Here's to George and his succesful stint in rehab. Rock on....



"Tsunami aftermath in Sri Lanka. The insurance sector was shaken by the waves of damage along the coastline of South Asia but insurers said that the cost of claims was likely to be contained because many of those affected could not afford comprehensive cover(AFP/Sena Vidanagama)" "...analysts said that the real effect on insurers would be modest because more than 90 percent of the victims were local people in poor regions and were uninsured."

Great it's nice to know that people are more worried about their insurance premiums than the fact that...

Walls of water sped away from the epicenter at more than 500 mph before crashing into the region's shorelines, sweeping people and fishing villages out to sea.

I mean I know I would be more worried about my insurance rates than the fact that my relatives had jsut been blown out to sea with the other 22,000 people who were killed. Where the hell are peoples priorities?


Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Podcast Housekeeping (Do you need any towels....sheets?)

Well, I have a bunch of announcements and housekeeping items that we need to talk about in the Podcast tonight. These have been building up for some time so I'm going to list them all here so I don't forget.

#1. New Voicemail Number
I signed up for a different voicemail service for the podcast. The one we have been using has crappy sound quality and sends me the files in a weird proprietary format. For now on use this number if you want to make an audio comment on the show 206-338-2494

#2. New RSS Feed
I signed up for a feedburner account so I can track how many downloads of the podcast we have. The catch is everyone needs to update the RSS feed they are using to download the show for it to work. Use the following URL.

#3. Question for the audience
I have been thinking about paying for a real hosting service for a long time. I even talked about it on the last podcast I think. I want to know if anyone sees and benefit for themselves if I do this? All the past shows would be up and available all the time so if you missed on you could get it. Does anyone want this?

I think that's it. I may remember more things before we do the show tonight. More comments are always welcome.

Correlation v. Cause

I know that most people don't have a firm grasp of statistics and probability and quite possibly don't understand exactly what statistical modeling is. But here is one thing that pisses me off.

A correlation does not prove a cause.

That's right. For all those people that don't understand, I'll give you an example. There is a correlation between how much I work and how much sleep I get. That does not mean that my lack of sleep is caused by my being employed. As a matter of fact my lack of sleep is caused by the fact that I stay up and watch moronic TV shows, PodCast with Adam and drink to many alcoholic beverages. My being employed is what causes me to be able to afford to do these things. If you want to prove that one thing causes another you need more than just a correlation.


Martha Stewart Doesn't Like Prison Food

WELL WOOP-DEE-FUCKING-DOO. I don't imagine anyone likes prison food unless they are used to eating trash out of a garbage can. Maybe you shouldn't be in jail to begin with. Cry me a fucking river her stock prices have been going up making her fortune increase while she is in jail for commiting conspiracy and obstructing justice. Fucking bitch. She's lucky her only complaint is bad food.


I Love Assholes Like This

This is great. This guy actually has an entire website as a shrine to his hatred for Bill O'Reilly. I just wish I could think of someone I hate enough to do this for. Anyway his review of Bill O'Reilly's teen book is by far the funniest thing I have read all week. Even if you agree with O'Reilly and his views you should admit that he doesn't need to write a book for teens. I mean come on. I've bloged about this before but being a celebrity doesn't entitle you to having relevant things to say to kids or teens.



I'm dumb. Greg is also another person who commented that we don't know. Everyone should check out his blog too. Thanks Greg.



Claire rocks. This is a post dedicated to Claire. I think that Claire has left the only documented comments on our blog that were written by someone we don't know. I am not sure though. Adam might know Claire. Thanks Claire.

Hey put something on your blog I like your title but there is nothing to read.


Viagra Thieves

Something tells me that only men would steal Viagra. The funny thing is I can't imagine that Viagra has much of a street price. Especially since it is available in Brazil without a prescription. I wonder what they will do with all that viagra?


Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Bush Person of the Year?

Changing the face of politics. That is why George W. Bush is Time magazines person of the year...

How did that happen. Oh I remember he steals elections and lies about his motives for war. One of the reasons that was stated is actually that he is defending America's interests. Yes, I suppose he is by invading other countries. I guess that Bush's interests will now have all the oil they need. You know we used to reward people for peace efforts. Funny.

Mel Gibson and Michael Moore were other candidates along with Karl Rove. For touching the pulse of America. Hmmmm.... One for a movie about fanatical religion, one for hating Bush, and one for ensuring his reelection.

I wonder if only American's can be nominated or if the editors are only interested in America. I venture to guess there are better candidates elsewhere.


P.S. to any of our conservative attendees. I don't apologize for my views. But feel free to yell at me.

There is only one reason that dope (our current president) could ever be considered "Person of the Year." The fact that he isn't a real person. President Bush no longer exists in my world. My life for the next four years will be like a strange movie or video game. Nothing makes sense but you just have to push on and hope that things work themselves out. World events and politics may again matter and make sense to me. But not before at least two things happen. First, mainstream media needs to get it's head out of it's ass and start reporting news, not selling it, promo-ing it, dumbing it down, editing all the life out of it, sterilizing what is messy, messing up what is simple, and quite generally being naughty pants people. Second, our political leaders need to figure out that politics it for the people, it's not a game they play. The "game" of politics is "played" today as much for it's own benefit as the benefit of the people. The politicians like it that way, and it will never change without a kind of "coup" from the masses. We all must change the system and they way to do that is to be the system. We have farmed out the government to the lawyers. "Outsoursed" it if you will. Someday I will run for office. Not to be a big shot. Just because I'm a citizen. We all need to remember what that means. Critics, begin your bashing now.


Credit Cards

I hate credit card companies.

My wife has this credit card (Chase Platinum Mastercard) and when her latest bill came they had increased her interest rate from 12% to 28%. Thats right 16% increase. So she calls to ask why. They told her because her level of debt had increased she is now a bigger risk.

Lets see. She has never had a late payment and always pays more than the minimum. How exactly does that make her a risk? I understand the debt thing. But don't punish someone who is a good customer. If she makes late payments or doesn't pay the minimum fine. Only give her one chance. But preemptive strikes? Fuck them.


Monday, December 20, 2004

Adam's Getting a Laptop?

Being the uber geek that you all should know that I am, I have been pining of this piece of kit for a while now. Ahhhhhh!! I want it! I want it! I want it! Why can't I have it? It's just not fair! I turn into such a little baby when I'm jonesing for new gear. I just can't help it. If/when I do get this new toy expect more fun stuff in the podcast. It has been to hard to play much audio during the podcast. All that will change with this baby. I have some killer ideas how to crank things up a cock. I sure hope Marilyn doesn't read al this crap I have been spewing out today. Little Adam might be in trouble.


The Great Jimbo Cometh to the Podcast

To all that care, we will be having our good friend Jimbo on the next podcast. If you have an questions for us to ask him or topics comment here or email me. It should be a rockin good time. I plan to get titanic shit housed drunk. Don't tell Marilyn about that though. Also, if I like you I might even tell you have you can call in to show. If you are so inclined.


My opinion is better than yours!

Robert Scoble writes one of the most widely read blogs on the net. He wrote an open letter to Bill Gates trying to convince him to get Microsoft into the mobile music player market. Pretty good take. Here's mine. I know more that any of you other fuckers out there so if Microsoft is going to get into this I had better be part of it or you al doomed to failure before you even start! You have no hope of success without my help and support. HAHA and if you believe that, I have a bridge I want to sell you.


Think Before You Buy

No... No... No...

If you are the type of person that forgets to turn shit off before falling asleep then buy a heating pad with an automatic shut off. If you don't buy one with an auto-off then don't fall asleep. If you do fall asleep and burn yourself don't blame the company you bought it from. When did we start letting people sue for their own stupidity?

I wish I could sue someone for my ignorance. Maybe I'll sue my parents for supplying faulty genes.


If these guys can sue for their own stupidity I want to sue people for their stupidity. Wouldn't it be great? There would be no dumb rich people any more. Not really a bad thing. But then there would be lots of really smart and devilishly agressive rich people running around looking for sucker. Not a good thing. Oh well, It's not like I could take advantage of that kind of a dead anyway. I just want to be able to sue Chuck for making our podcast suck. Ya, I said it! Wha ya gunna do? PUNK!?!?!?!


Wha I gunna do? I'll tell you. First I'm GOING TO tell Adam's dumb ass to learn how to spell and quit typing shit like Ya, wha, gunna and kewl. Then I'm going to purposefully fuck up the podcast just to piss him off. Then I'm going to put some roofies in his Mickeys wait until he passes out and then push his dumb ass down the stairs just for fucking with me.


I'd like to see you try that shit. I got game you aint even heard of. Roofies? I have em for lunch to calm down after beating down pro-wrestlers and jumping over tall buildings while fucking your mom. Cracker please.......


Friday, December 17, 2004


I'm not even going into the fact that somebody killed this woman to take her baby. I won't even discuss the fact that the baby will probably die since it was a month premature and not getting medical attention. What I will discuss is the neighbor.

A neighbor, Bill Dragoo, said Stinnett and her husband raised dogs and "didn't bother anybody. It blows my mind that this happened. She was such a shy person. They didn't deserve this."

Who the hell does he think does deserve this. What the fuck... She was shy she didn't deserve it. So a fucking cheerleader would deserve it? What the hell is his point? Why not just say nobody deserves that it is terrible? What a fucking moron. I hate stupid people.



If I was a stripper, I would clip the fucking permit right on my yam sack. I wonder if some smart ass strippers are covering their nipples or cooch... That would be funny.


Debt Sucks

I think this articles makes some really good points. It is unfortunate that credit cards do so much marketing to college kids. It is also unfortunate that the cost of living is increasing. However, we can't really do much about the cost of living and college kids should be smart enough not to spend too much money on credit cards.

Here's what really bugs me about this. Right now the job market is extremely tight. This is one of the reasons that corporations don't have to worry about being competetive in starting salaries. As someone who was recently looking for a job I know that starting salaries suck. Everyone wants someone with a college degree but doesn't want to pay for it. Starting salaries right now have not risen comparably to the cost of college. Most jobs barely pay enough for one year of college at a private school and not more than two years of a state school. Finally everyone wants experience but if you expect people to have a degree you can't really expect experience. The only way to get experience is to get a job. It's a vicious cycle.


Thursday, December 16, 2004

Black Friends

This is one of the funniest websites I have seen in a long time. What a creative way to make fun of stupid racist fucks.


Claire, thanks for the comment. Glad I could help to make your day less boring. Hope you keep reading.


Nelly & Tim McGraw

What the fuck?

Do either Nelly or Tim McGraw need so much press that they would need to do this? Why would a country singer and an R+B singer do a duet? This is by far the dumbest thing in recent music. I can't believe people are supporting this shit. Don't they realize that supporting this shit it only encourages people to do more? What's next Dr. Dre and Britney Spears? Van Morrison and KORN? NIN with Prince? Fuck it I hate this shit.


Oh MD my mind is open... Here's the thing though. I don't think Nelly and Tim McGraw have anything in common. Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffett ok. They both did country music. But Nelly and Tim McGraw... Hmmmm. So maybe that means I don't have as open a mind as you do but if that is troublesome just don't read our blog. Ha... I don't need readers. I have myself. Anyone else want to take me on. Bring it on.


This is exactly why I want my wife to be able to stay home if we ever have kids.


Kick Ass

Turn up the guitar or I kick your ass. If Adam doesn't turn up my mic feed for the next podcast I'm going to kick his ass.


I Want....

This is awesome if I had $15000 I'd buy it.


Like You Wouldn't

Every man knows damn well he would do this if he could.


Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Ultra Beer Bong

Ultra Beer Bong

I can see myself doing something like this. God knows that I love to drink beer as fast as humanly possible. But I'm pretty sure that I would have set this thing up so I could control the flow. I really don't need to be known as "Waterballoon Dum"


I might also do something like this. How much beer do you think it would take to split your stomcach? I wonder if I could make a similar device that could deliver eggnog? Oh something else, instead of creating a drill powered bong I think we should just mainline Vodka it would actually be easier and wouldn't split your stomach. Idea for next podcast. Adam and I record directly after mainlining Vodka. I think it could be interesting and Marilyn's a nurse so what could go wrong?


Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Potato's (An Obvious Reason for Murder)

When will people learn that you can't just kill someone because they piss you off. Like I've said many times I have a short fuse and would like to kill people for lesser things than throwing a potato through my window. Really, I have been halfway out a car window flipping someone off for standing in the road. But still I know I can't just shoot people.


Kill Osama!!!

This is fucking hilarious. First of all what kind of Jackass jumps out in front of cars with a gun wearing an Osama mask. Maybe, that would be a good idea if I wanted to commit suicide. Then there is the taxi driver. Is it even legal in the US for taxi drivers to carry guns? It probably is but I don't know. Anyway, how trigger happy do you have to be not to notice that the guy has a plastic face? Come on most average people can tell the difference between a face and a mask. If they can't they shouldn't be allowed to carry a gun.


Lindsey Lohan

This is my favorite exerpt from an interview with Lindsey Lohan.

Q: Is it hard for you to find some middle ground because little girls look up to you and guys think you're hot?

LOHAN: Girls my age dress so much raunchier than I'd ever imagine myself dressing. And I understand that I'm a role model though, and I have to look out for that. I have a 10-year-old sister, too. But you also want to be appealing to guys and stuff, that's just something girls feel. It's hard. You want to be that girl that's unattainable to all the guys because there are so many other girls out there that are like that.

Really? Girls dress raunchier than you'd imagine yourself dressing? Why then are you dressed in as little as possible for your rumors video? For those of you who haven't seen the video. Lindsey jumps and dances around with her tits popping out of her shirt. If you were really worried about being a role model Lindsey then you would keep your fucking tits further in your shirt and make a more conservative video. Just admit it you like having guys lust after you.
I wouldn't care if the fucking idiots just admitted they like being sex objects and quit pretending they wanted to be role models.


Bad Sex

I've done previous blogs about Tom Wolfe's new book so I thought this was funny. Who knew there was an award for bad sex in fiction. It's pretty funny really. What qualifies as bad sex? Have they read Penthouse Forum lately because really I think that is pretty bad fictional sex writing. Hmmm....


Grammy Nominations

If anyone is interested in the grammy nominations the link above has the entire list of this years nominees. I won't complain about them too much. I'll wait until the Billboard awards come out and then I'll bitch about the state of pop music but until then you don't have to listen to my rant.

Here is my one problem.

BEST SOLO ROCK VOCAL PERFORMANCE: Ryan Adams, "Wonderwall"; Steve Earle, "The Revolution Starts Now"; Melissa Etheridge, "Breathe"; Bruce Springsteen, "Code Of Silence"; Tom Waits, "Metropolitan Glide"

Notice Ryan Adams in there? Yep that's right one of my favorite artists nominated for best solo rock vocal performance. Here is my problem though. Do you see that the song he was nominated for is Wonderwall? A song by Oasis. A cover of an Oasis song. Don't you think that out of the two albums worth of material that he put out this year they could have nominated him for something original? Yes I know he was nominated for this song because of the vocals. Really though his vocals are just as good on most if not all of his original songs. All I'm saying is it would be nice if they could have nominated him for original work.


Monday, December 13, 2004

Stupid Fucking Teenagers

You know, you don't have to be very smart in order to know that you can't tell the cops about your stolen quarter pound of pot. How fucking dumb did these kids have to be?


Friday, December 10, 2004

Blow Jobs

You know I don't understand this really. I mean why would a doctor think that he could just slip your shit in his mouth and not have any reprucusions.

Something else. If my doctor just slipped my dick in his mouth I would smack the shit out of him. After removing my dick. Of Course.


Thursday, December 09, 2004

Sleep Rape

It is sad that this fly's as a way to avoid going to prison for rape. I mean really is it very likely that the guy sleep walked to where the chick was then while still sleeping took off her clothes and then had sex with her only to wake up when she started screaming? I just don't see it happening. Nobody would believe me if I said I killed someone in my sleep. Enough bullshit. I hope the guy gets raped by someone in their sleep.

We allready don't have stringent enough laws against rape. Now someone can get off by claiming it was a sleep raping. That is sad.


Kitty Snipers

It would kick ass if I could train my cats to be snipers. I would have them hang out at the windows and take out birds, squirells, chipmunks, other cats, stupid dogs and.... and.... and.... Just think of all the things they could kill. Maybe I could let them do freelance sniping for the government and make money. Just think they could be kitty assassins. That's awesome. Kitten Assassin...



Thanks for the comment. But come on Suzy... Use the link then look at the picture... It will all make sense. Oh, and don't be a slave to Adam. Obviously I don't listen to him.


Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Dead Rappers

Why do we need albums from dead rappers? Tupac? Biggie? Now Old Dirty Bastard. Not necessary. I'm going to make a rap album so someone can release it when I die.


Slow Children At Play

This sign needs a comma. That's all


Self Transforming Machine Elves

So this book I have Archaic Revival is written by a scientist that studied shamanistic medicine in South America. During an interview printed in the book this guy asks him about different levels of consciousness and he tells him about the differences with Psilocybin and DMT.

He mentions without a pause that when you are on DMT you are transported to another dimension where you meet the self-transforming machine elves. So I think this is very strange. I mean what exactly are self-transforming machine elves. So I read it to a friend. She said that she knew some people in college who made DMT and that one of them during a trip thought that he spent a year with beings from another dimension even learning their language. Hmmm... I don't know.

I know one thing though. Any drug that makes you believe you are living with machine-elves is some scary shit.


I am a Self Transforming Machine Elf and I love you.


Stupid Parents

No... You don't leave your house and live in the front yard. What the hell does that prove to the kids. Sack up and make your kids clean up. Ground the fucking inconsiderate spoiled little shits. Right now they have full run of the house and you're freezing your ass off in the front yard. Stupid fucks. They should have thier kids taken away.


Nerd Post Alert

I am a nerd. Everyone knows this. At least you do now. I have been even more nerdy than usual lately. I dream of laptops and bluetooth cell phones at night. I write in very short sentances.

Anyway, I really really want a couple of these cheap (cheap=$60) condenser mics that I found a few days ago. And if I get new mics, I need to have a new mixer to make it all work right. Right? And new cables and adapters to hook it all up. WOW, if I had a laptop with Wi-Fi and and an EDGE card I could do a SWEET podcast from anywhere!! You can see how nerds can go into debt quickly.

ONE DAY I WILL have this set-up, or the equivalent in the current technologies of the time when I can afford it. I hope that time isn't more than 5 years from now but it probly is. I feel cold.


Why do I hang out with this nerd? Seriously? Dreams about tech gadgets. Dude at least I dream about like Pythagorean Triples and Zero Sum Games. Uhhh... I mean I dream about hot chicks.



You've got to be kidding me. Do our PhD's really not having anything better to do than research the word Dude? Oh I got it. I'm going to research the word Fuck. Anybody want to fund my book? Please? Afterall, Fuck can be used so many ways. As a noun... "Who's that?" "Fuck Head" Or as a verb... "I'm busy fucking." It makes a good question "What the fuck?" Or a good answer. "What happened?" "Fuck!"

So many fucking uses....


John Mayer Sucks

That's it. He Sucks. I can't stand people that say "Oh it's great he's bringing back the singer-songwriter." Fuck You. There were plenty of singer-songwriters before him and there will be many after. You stupid fans of John Mayer's high-school lyrics and lame melodies, if you want to hear real singer songwriters check out Ryan Adams, Pete Yorn, Joe Firstman, Ray LaMontagne or Howie Day. These artists are the real singer-songwriters of today. They may not get airplay but they have good music with real lyrics instead of shit from a teenage girls journal.

Going back to my rant about pop music yesterday check out what Joe Firstman had to say.

US Weekly, and these type of publications that are more concerned with Ashton Kutcher's beard than they are Bush's atrocites should be ashamed. and even the Newsweek type magazines' information is so skewed that we dont really become informed by succumbing to their "TORTURE IN IRAQ<>

Right on. What happened to socially conscious artists like Marvin Gaye, Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell? Why do our current artists only distract us from what is happening in our society?



If I wanted to burn down my girlfriends apartment I would not use makeshift molotovs that I produced from empty budweiser bottles. At that rate why not just rn through the house with gasoline and then light it? No. I'm going to make some good ass fucking heavyweight bombs and blow the shit out of the joint. Then, really? try to get away on a fucking lawnmower? God damn fucking morons. You can probably get away faster on foot then on a fucking lawnmower. Ya know this kind of shit makes me want to be a delinquent criminal just so I can show these idiots how to pull something off.


Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Math Scores

US math scores for students 15yrs old came in at 24th out of 29 industrialized nations. Pretty said. This was on a test that scored ability to apply math in real life situations. Officials claim we do better at computative analysis. Hmmm...


The latest scores from the Program for International Student Assessment also show that white U.S. students scored above average, while blacks and Hispanics scored below it. That achievement gap has become the focus of federal education policy.

I thought we were told in recent debates that this gap was closing. Isn't that what the non-funded no-child-left-behind act was supposed to fix?



Ok. Most, I repeat most, of the people in this country that are obese are overweight becaue they eat shit or because they don't exercise. Now we can let them blame a lack of sleep. I have a lack of sleep and I'm not overweight.



It's pretty sad when a T-shirt company makes a package for americans who want to pretend to be Canadian. But here it is complete with Canadian flag T-shirt, pin, sticker and patch. Perfect for those travelling abroad where Americans arent' appreciated.



Just when I'm about to lose all faith in humanity there is a story like this. The guy turns in a criminal and instead of running with his $40,000 he donates it. Damn I guess not everyone is selfish.


Taser Videos

Apparently, I think it is very funny to watch people get shot with tasers.


Apparently, I think is fucking orgasmically stupendously hilarious to watch people get the shit shocked out of them with tasers!!! My dad, who is a police officer, sent me a video of himself getting shot with an air-taser. I almost died! I watched it over and over. I almost died again. I did nothing else for almost an hour but watch and laugh and roll on the ground. What a bastard I am. This was a few days ago. Well, today after talking to my Dad about it he mentioned that he had more videos of other officers getting shot with tasers. And the fool sent me those too! After another episode of unstoppable laughter I ask myself, what the hell is my problem? Why do I find SO much glee from other people's pain? My answer, I don't give a fuck. I like watching people getting zapped with high voltage. I have come to grips with that. So, if you have any videos of people getting shot with tasers. PLEASE send them to me!


Running Over Kids

You know if some little shits hit my car with a golf ball I would be pissed. However I would not run them down with my car. Doesn't it seem a little weird that she started to drive off then turned around. Then she smoked a cigarette while they lay there bleeding. That's cold heartless sociopathic shit.


If people were more scared of other people running their sutpid asses over if you hit their car with fucking golf balls there would be fewer people hitting cars with fucking golf balls. People get too much slack in today's society. I'm not saying we should be running over more dilequent kids. I'm just sayin. I think Chris Rock put it the best "I wouldn't hit a woman, but I'd shake the shit out of one."


Pop Music

So I am not musically inclined. Still, I know what music I like and what I don't like. I don't like pop shit like Britney Spears, Ashlee Simpson, Limp Bizkit or anyone else of their kind. I feel like they are talentless vehicles used by the labels. They don't have any instrumental talent and they don't write anything worth listening to if they write music at all. I know that pop music has always been around and that teenagers have always ruled the airwaves. However, I feel like everyone caters to pop music now in a way that wasn't true in the past. Some of my favorite musicians are people that got airplay around the pop hair bands of the 80's. Tom Petty, Eric Clapton, Mark Knopfler, Pink Floyd. These were all artists that managed to get played and be popular along side the pop crap like Poison and Bon Jovi. Now however, you don't hear anything but pop music on the radio.

This all leads me to my gripe. One of my favorite guitarists and song writers just put out a new album. Mark Knopfler's new album Shangri La is great in my mind. Knopfler was great as one of the leading forces of Dire Straits and his solo career has also been good. Furthermore, against the current trends in pop music he writes his own songs and in my estimation is one of the best guitarists currenlty producing new albums. However, all of the magazines that you find stocked on most store shelves gave it bad reviews. Why? Apparently, it is boring. Here is a quote from Blender magazine. His melodies are minimal and his lack of vocal range can get monotonous and quite frustrating at times. Rolling Stone gave it 3.5 stars but that was less than new albums by Eminem, Gwen Stefani, Clay Aiken, Destiny's Child, Usher and Nelly. Spin magazine didn't even review it. So what do you need to get good reviews by these popular magazines? Have a dance hall beat, be on a "talent show" or maybe just sing R+B. Apparently it doesn't require much talent.

Yet even though these magazines call Knopfler boring I found good reviews on the internet. Compare the boring ones to this. This music has more hooks than a...(fill in your own pun to this tired joke), and more texture than most artists display in an entire career. Wow!!! Much different than boring. Something else. It seems that even though american magazines only care about pop music european magazines give pretty good reviews of other music. I found good reviews of this album in MOJO and another european magazine as well. It pisses me off that the popular music magazines can't give accurate reviews because of thier focus on Ashlee Simpson.

As a side note. Tracks magazine is a new magazine that I have found that has good reviews of various styles. I think it is very good. Check it out. I'll leave the link and a link to the reviews quoted above.



Good Review

Blender Review

If your stupid enough to listen to pop music you deserve to get your ears filled with horse crap. Give the fucking babies their bottle. I reject that entire section of our culture. I don't participate and I don't care what they do. They are so loathsome it almost makes me puke rapid fire machine gun style while fucking my sister, which I don't have, in the ass!

OK, sorry about that. But I do hate pop culture. If you feel like me, do what I do. Ban news and entertainment media from your life. The only media that I watch is "The Daily Show" and a few select podcasts that occasionally talk about current events. I can barely handle that much which is sad. Why does everything these days have to be so sensational and pumped up full of bullshit? There is hardly any real communication these days. We just keep puking up the same old tired shit over and over. The whole time trying to make it bigger and better than ever before but only making even less original and smelly. OK, I must stop my rant now. I have to go throw-up.


Monday, December 06, 2004

Children's Books

Why is it that celbrities think they need to write kids books? Madonna? Billy Crystal? Now Gloria Estefan too. What's the deal. You get famous for something and you think you have something to write about that children will enjoy. Do they really think they are good childrens authors or is it just a narcicisstic thing? Maybe if I was a famous singer or comedian I would write children's books too. Guess we'll never know.


Fuck children's books!!!! Like they can read anyway.


Friday, December 03, 2004

Video Game Violence

Ok I'll admit I play a lot of video games. I always read these articles about how violent games perpetuate violence. Same thing with sex and violence on TV. I agree that kids seem to be growing up faster than ever and that they know more about sex and see more violence than kids of generations past. However my response to these arguments has always been... FUCK OFF video games and TV are not real and if you are not a good enough parent to distinguish between reality and fiction it is your own fucking fault that your child is a delinquent. I have no sympathy for the parent of a child who says that he ran over the neighbor becuase he did it in Grand Theft Auto or that he killed the cat because Marilyn Manson told him too. Especially not when the kid is 8 years old. What the fuck is your 8 year old doing playing Grand Theft Auto or listening to Marilyn Manson. 8 year old don't have jobs. The only money they have is the money they got from you or the money they stole. If they are stealing then fuck you again... didn't you teach your kid not to steal? If you gave it to them.. why aren't you paying attention to what they purchase? After all, someone took them to the store. So what brought this on? Well I'm playing the new Grand Theft Auto right now. Yeah, it's fucked up. You are basically a gang member taking over the hood and fucking chicks. Sweet. But I can distinguish between this fiction and my real life. I don't carry a gun and I don't pick up hookers. Furthermore if I had children they would not be allowed to play this game. Actually, I wouldn't play it with them in the house unless they were asleep. Why? Because I would limit what my children have access to. Instead, I saw this mother the other night buying her 8-11 year old son the strategy guide for this game. Why in the world would you willing buy your kid this game? Then people complain about kids playing these games. Well if dipshit parents like this snatch didn't let their kids play the shit in the first place it wouldn't be a problem. I know some people are going to say I'm naive and that kids will get the game whether the parents try and stop them or not. FUCK YOU. I won't dispute that. Again, I respond that parents should be able to teach their children the difference between RIGHT/WRONG as well as FICTION/REALITY. If your kids go out shoot the neighbors, run over pedestrians, fuck anything in sight and kill cops there is either something seriuosly wrong with them beyond the point of video games or sex and violence on TV or you are just a dumbshit parent who didn't do your fucking job. So QUIT blaming my fucking video games.


here is a review of San Andreas if you want it.
San Andreas Review

Amen, brother!!! We are a culture of blame. It's not our fault. It's the media/TV/Video Games/Government/Insert Skapegoat Here. Just fucking sack-up and deal with our fucked up world. Oops I just lit my ass on fire. I'm sueing!!!


Stem Cells

So granted bus drivers aren't teachers and don't need to talk to students but still most of the time they carry on conversations with students. As long as this woman was just reading an article and not telling her opinion, I don't see a problem. Kids could read the article themselves. Instead of complaining about situations like this it would be nice if parents could use them as learning opportunites. Use it as a chance to talk to your kids about the debate. Tell them your opinion. MAYBE see what they think. I'm not a parent, though, just a burnt out high school teacher so take that opinion for what you think it's worth.




I don't know how 45% of the people polled by the BBC in Britain could not know anything about Aushwitz. That just seems strange. Maybe it is different in other nations but I thought Holocaust education was pretty much mandatory.


BBC Poll


So I'm thinking, I go to this guys house to collect $4000 but he's not home so I kidnap his wife and kid. Then I set a ransom of $4000 to get my money. No... if I kidnap someone I'm thinking that is a pretty huge crime that I'm getting big time for if I get caught. So I'm asking for a lot more money. But hey it's nice to limit your goals.



Accidental Murder

This 4th grade teacher chopped her husband with a hatchett she bought in the pouring rain on Mother's Day. She chopped his jugular and voice box straight through then cleaned the room and hid the body. When officers find the body what does she say?

According to police, when officers first arrived on the scene, Seaman told them, "It was an accident."

How do you accidentally go buy a hatchett, kill your husband, clean it up, continue cleaning the next day after work and then claim it was accidental?


Ax Murder.

Don Pedro

Don Pedro's breakfast burritos are the best thing in the whole world. Pedro's is just a little hole in the wall burrito joint. They make these breakfast burritos that are the best thing ever created. It is basically an entire breakfast wrapped in a tortilla. Eggs, cheese, ham, bacon or sausage, and hashbrowns. It rocks. It might rot your gut. But you will love every minute of it.



Why is it that most people don't believe in common courtesy anymore? Maybe it's just me but it seems that we have lost some of that. Almost everyday my wife and I walk our dog at the University by our house and run across other people walking on campus. Whenever we pass right by people we try to say hello because it is common courtesy. It is very very rare that anyone responds to our kindness. It doesn't make sense to me. If you walk by someone, make eye contact, and they say hello; you say hello back. Someone comment please.


Thursday, December 02, 2004

I'll Say It

Not only that I'll say it proudly, I hate Fantasia Barrino. Question. Why do the top five people in every season of American Idol get a record contract? Except for the winner, the other four didn't win. I thought a record contract was one of the prizes. Why does eveyone else win too. They didn't win they probably don't deserve it. Is it necessary?


What is up With Utah?

Another Utah story.
There is apparently a law in Provo that only allows people a certain number of pets. You can have two dogs. Or you can have two cats. You cannot have both cats and dogs. Since when were law makers allowed to put limits on my pet ownership? Why two? Is two a magic number? Noah only had two of each animal on the ark so that is all I need? Why not one cat and one dog if two is the number? Because they can't reproduce? Whatever. Stupid law.

Check it out.


This is great. A guy in Utah got an $82 fine for a burnt out headlight. So instead of just paying it he went to the bank and took out the payment in pennies. Then when he paid they told him to return with a different form of payment because it was a waste of money to have someone count the pennies. He refused. Awesome... I will make all future ticket payments with pennies.

Check out the story if you want


What About The Dog?

A friend of mine, with two dogs, told me the other day that he is separated from his wife. When I told my wife she said, "what about the dogs?" Which makes me think. What if we were separated? What about my dog? Now, granted, she can have the cats. Not that I don't like them, I just don't need them. But, I want my dog. The problem is she loves the dog too. So that brings me back to what about the dog?

Thats all


Stupid Holiday Shows

I was reading my book last night while the TV was on. Suddenly, I heard stupid scripted banter followed by singing in the annoying style of Jessica Simpson and her lame husband. My senses assaulted, I had to see what was causing me such asinine torture. When I looked at the TV I found out I was witnessing the Nick and Jessica holiday special. What network you ask? ABC!!! Not MTV. Not VH1. Nick and Jessica on ABC. They are talking and it is scripted stupidity. It might be funny that Jessica is dumb, but only when it's real. It is not funny when it's scripted. Really, her stupidity is only slightly amusing for the first time you see it. So by now it's old. Then the stupid bastards aren't even really singing they are lip synching. Can't they at least sing. Ok then Jessica announces that we "get" to meet their families. Do I give a flying fuck about Jessica and Nick's familes? Let's put it gently I would rather eat 2 week old salmon that has been sitting on the counter unrefrigerated and predigested then "get" to meet Jessica and Nick's families. If you couldn't tell, I am done with Jessica and Nick as if I had started in the first place. Do they need a holiday special? NO!!!! Even if they do it should be on some dumb cable channel not network television. They may as well give Adam and I our own holiday special on network television it would be better.

OK, enough of my rant. Have a great day.

Check out the TV listing if you want to rot your brain


Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Tom Wolfe...

I've been reading I am Charlotte Simmons by Tom Wolfe. So far I like it. But I've been reading these criticisms of it and some just don't make sense. They mostly claim that Tom Wolfe is low brow and not really "literary". Who cares. Is the book good or not. Judge the book on it's value not whether or not you want to call it literature. Wolfe has always been good at studying a section of culture. He actually spend enormous amounts of time on university campuses and talked to many students. This is a man in his 60's. What he has to say may not draw a perfect picture of a college campus but it does present some good character studies and accurately portrays portions of college life in today's society. Sure in 700 pages you might think he could be very accurate but he is not doing a research paper he wrote a novel. Novels are also supposed to be entertaining. Here is a quote I got from one response to the book.

What is a real university in the actual 21st century actually like? It's a research institution; an intergenerational transfer station for high culture; a talent sorting mechanism, and thus a gateway to the professions; and a (give or take) four-year holding pen for the children of the bourgeoisie.

To me, this person doesn't make a good case for ALL of today's college students any better than Wolfe. But that wasn't Wolfe's point was it? He was writing for entertainment as well as enlightenment.

If you want to read someone else's comments.


Citywide WIFI

Citywide WIFI

If we could set-up something like this it would kick so much ass!!!! It's too bad that big buisness will find someway to shut it down before it even can start. Even if the speed was not very high it would still be awesome.


Poop Problems?

Does anybody REALLY need a portable Bidet?

Once again a message of irrelevance from Chuck

Robots with GUNS

Robots with guns
Is it just me, or does it seem like I bad idea to put really really powerfull guns on a semi-automomous robot.


Taco Poison?

Ok if my wife put poison in my Tacos and I lived I wouldn't still love her. I don't care what anyone thinks. Yes I am pretty calm and mild mannered. But still. Poison my tacos and don't kill me. I will fucking gut you.

Wierd Luck

What do you say when someone wins a 10,000 lottery ticket and then gets killed in a car accident on the way home?

Phone Etiquette

Two things I hate,

People who answer the phone by saying "Can you hold"

People who answer the phone while they are chewing.

Just fucking wait to pick up the phone ok

Pessimist Motherfucker


I am forever a pessimist motherfucker. I never thought anyone would listen to our podcast and I figured this was just for me and the freak I call Adam. But, I was reprimanded for not adding links to the articles I was posting about. Apparently, somebody else might actually read this. Well, I couldn't find them all but here are a few.

Lava Lamp.

Woman and 8 year old.

CAADE Topics 12/01/04

Ok, so the Chuck and Adam Do Everything show is up and running. Adam and I have decided to post topics on this blog. It may be dumb but so are we. This seems to be a way we can introduce and remember topics without having to worry about losing them. It also gives us a chance to do some contemplating and make sure the ideas aren't to stupid to use on air.

Here are a few I am considering...

Maria Shriver wants constitutional amendment to allow naturalized citizens to run for president. Hmmm wonder why…

South Korean company selling gold plated umbilical cords to 80-100 parents a year

Toy that reads to your kids, because you are a lazy fuck parent.

Afghani’s using camels to smuggle drugs. Use um if you got um

Filming yourself beating someone down and then making it a music video

36.5% failure rate in OLCC tests

Guys arrested for dumping dirt in a national forest

Woman admitting to “sexual activity” with daughters 8 year old friend. Caught be mom finding love letter. Let him shave her.

Lava lamp explodes and kills man with heart piercing glass shard

So sometimes my ideas are good and other times they suck. Mostly I like to talk about random shit I read or hear about. However I think we need to do an entire show about fucking stupid people that don't need to have children... EVER.

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