Monday, November 28, 2005

I am a Hessian Prince

Using some very unusual methods I have been able to finally figure out why I am so fucking awesome. I am a Hessian Prince. I descend directly from these rich fancy fuckers and badassed warlords in Germany. Think I’m lying; then send me your HOME address and I’ll have my fucking standing army come pay you a visit. Just like the Middle Ages bitches!

If you are my friend be prepared to receive a gift of some ball shreddingly awesome furniture that my factories have been producing for more than 300 years. In addition I’ll let you take a look at my painting that is worth 100 million dollars. That’s right, 9 figures you fucking whores!

I have a golden fucking carriage that carries my awesome ass around pulled but 6 mother-fucking horses. Enough said.

Adam

P.S. Now click this link

3 Comments:

Anonymous J said...

Rua Senador Vergueiro, 238 - ap 413
Flamengo
Rio de Janeiro - RJ
BRAZIL
22230-001

I'll teach something to your "badass" hordes... Or you don't deliver international?

11/28/2005 3:16 PM  
Blogger Adam Ritenour said...

I will forward this to my Hessian Commanders. Expect them when they don't have anything better to do than to come visit some little cunt brazilian.

--Adam

11/28/2005 3:22 PM  
Blogger Puma said...

I will be waiting, in a small cabin in northern Maine, locked and loaded. Just follow the dirt road, left off mile marker 357. Bring 'em on bitch!

11/30/2005 7:01 AM  

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