Using some very unusual methods I have been able to finally figure out why I am so fucking awesome. I am a Hessian Prince. I descend directly from these rich fancy fuckers and badassed warlords in Germany. Think I’m lying; then send me your HOME address and I’ll have my fucking standing army come pay you a visit. Just like the Middle Ages bitches!
If you are my friend be prepared to receive a gift of some ball shreddingly awesome furniture that my factories have been producing for more than 300 years. In addition I’ll let you take a look at my painting that is worth 100 million dollars. That’s right, 9 figures you fucking whores!
I have a golden fucking carriage that carries my awesome ass around pulled but 6 mother-fucking horses. Enough said.
Adam
P.S. Now click this link