Tuesday, January 04, 2005

My Dog is Scared of Me

So my dog was barking for 2 hours straight last night for no known reason. Why she would choose to bark after I go to bed even though she is normally the least vocal dog I have ever seen, I can't explain. Regardless, she did, and my wife yelled at her and made her go outside and tried mutliple other ways to get her to shut up. When she came to bed the dog was still barking. By this point I was pissed. So I walk up to the gate separating the hall from the kitchen and call her to me. She came right to the gate. I looked at her and said in a calm and normal manner,

"If you don't shut the fuck up right now I'm going to walk right into the kitchen and kick you in the fucking head."

She went right to the couch and laid down. She didn't bark again. I wish everyone was scared of me the way my dog is...

--Chuck

I'm sorry chuck but your dog is not scared of you. The whole reason she was barking if the first place is to annoy the fuck out of you and get attention. So once she made you get up and talk to her, the misson was accomplished. She was tired from the barking and wanted to rest. She is not scared of you and for good reason. Your the biggest pussy on the planet. You let her do, pretty much, whatever she wants. And the worst part about it is, it's too late. She will never respect you. Ya fucking pussy!!!!!
Have a nice life.........LOSER!!

--Adam


She's real afraid of Adam. That's why she pees on him everytime he comes over. Whatever Adam. You just have to act like a hard ass so that our listeners think you're cool. You know you bow to me just like my dog. You are nothing but a pussy who has to try to validate himself by ridiculing me on our blog. Talk about passive agressive.

--Chuck

4 Comments:

Blogger LinF said...

This is the first blog I read in its entirety...and yes I have a lot of times on my hands since getting dumped on New Years Day!

1/04/2005 2:42 PM  
Blogger LinF said...

Thanks...and I completely agree! Keep making me laugh it helps!

1/04/2005 5:09 PM  
Blogger jamjriii said...

Hmmmmmm..... Chuck how do you feel about the cats when the miss the litter box?

1/07/2005 1:51 PM  
Blogger Chuck said...

I'm not totally sure that that question warrants a response but... here goes.

See first you have to understand that I like my dog. I would even say that I love my dog. However, I'm not the cat's biggest fan. Let me also explain that we have unorthodox cats that like to climb in the clean litter pails just to roll around. Stupid little shits. So what if they missed the box? That's the question?

Most likely the first thing I would do is let the dog run through the house. The cats hate her and letting her roam into "their" territory really pisses them off and probably does much worse psychological damage than I am capable of. Then I would probably pick them up by the scruff of their necks and spit right into their faces. Then I would take them and rub their faces in their own feces. Finally I would throw them in the bathtub after filling it with cold water to wash the shit off their faces and just to really piss them off. If all of that still didnt' fix the little shits then I would tie them to the ceiling from their tails to just out of the dog's reach. That way I could watch them hiss at her as she tries to bat at them. Endless hours of entertainment.

--Chuck

1/07/2005 2:06 PM  

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