Friday, January 07, 2005

Lets Break It Down

Ok here's what will happen in the next 4 seasons of Real World. The cast members will be thrown into a house somewhere where there is plenty of things they can get in trouble doing. The house will be decked out with anything they could ever want. Fish tank with exotic fish, computers, books, big screen TV, a huge kitchen, pool table, barking cats and everything else except their own bedroom or more than one bathroom. The cast will include all of the following, 1) a token minority preferably either black or asian possibly both or mixed. 2) An openly gay male or a closeted gay male who is very very very effeminate. 3) Someone who we will refer to as not very open to other world views. 4) Somebody with a physical illness or mental issues preferabbly an alcoholic. 5) Two people who will undoubtedly become a "couple" but won't be able to maintain a relationship because of their strange circumstances. Most likely one of them is currently dating someone back home. 6) A loner who blends into the background and oftentimes makes the only intelligent statements throughout the entire season. Once thrown together, everything will be great until someone gets drunk and hurts the feelings of the a) gay male b) minority c) unstable mental case/invalid. After things get terribly heated there will be ensuing drama and relationship crises until hopefully at least one person ends up in a scuffle with the police. Finally at the end of the season they will all be friends again, will have changed greatly from this wonderful experience, will promise to keep in touch and cry as each member leaves.

Now I have saved anyone from having to watch any further episodes of ther Real World. Sleep well with the knowldege that if you don't see any Real World between now and 2008 you will not miss anything. I've found it's actually more fun to make up my own Real World characters and stories.



Blogger Unknown said...

3) Someone who we will refer to as not very open to other world views.

On one fairly recent season,this person was from the small SC town that I live in. I have spent a vast amount of my time trying to make people understand that in the "real" real world people from my town (for the most part) do not talk, act, or think that way. I have not much luck.

Sadly, Most people in my town are brainwashed by MTV and pseudo-stardom so she is on radio commericals,the opening of the Golden Corral,Special Guest for the Wet T-Shirt and Thong Contest at the bars.

The Newpaper even did a weekly article while she was on the we needed, in print, a recap of this this chick was making an ass out of herself and MY town.

1/07/2005 9:55 AM  
Blogger Chuck said...

I feel your pain Branshine. I went to highschool with a cast member from one of the first few seasons. I'm sorry yours had to be the worst type though.


1/07/2005 10:03 AM  
Blogger Claire said...

Here's the Real World theory that has been thrown around my office.. lets get VH1 to do a version of the real world for 25-35 year old living in a dirt shit town.... eh Portland will work, in a shitty NE Pdx house with no dishwashers or any other "luxury" itmes, have the camera follow us around as we go to our same crappy jobs as we express our angry/disappointment/regret with our lives. That would be "Real". The drinking problems, eating disorders, racism, minorities, fights, and "hook-ups" will still be there. We just will not be as pretty and the HOT bars will be My Father's Place and of course the Alibi.
won't happen...people cannot handle watching their own reality.

1/07/2005 10:48 AM  

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